Alice is a people person. But she mostly just watches them. Her favorite way to do this? Old Hollywood films with Grandma Lou. After a particularly eventful movie night Alice decides to leave behind her small town in New Mexico — and takes all of her cats. Along the way, she discovers what only the road can reveal: the true nature of Fate, Loneliness, and Love.
Admiring from a Distance
Lights up on Alice in a white 1974 Toyota Starlet. The sun is just beginning to set. There are two kennels stacked in the back of the car. We hear soft mews coming from the cats within the kennels. There is a tape recorder on her dash. It is large and awkward. Alice has her hands firmly on the wheel.
Alice here. Things to do in cars. Play with the heating and air. Hot cold hot cold hot cold. Medium is best. I believe that is described as warm. When your goosebumps do not detect and your sweat glands are dry.
Open the vents. Close them. Open them back up. (Alice does this)
Check for dust on the dash. (Alice wipes dust from the dash and examines it) There's dust. Adjust your seat.
Go through your mental checklist.
Alice presses her pointer finger to her forehead and closes eyes inhales/exhales deeply
Look in the side view mirror. At yourself. At the symmetric qualities of your face. You look attractive, but other people may not know what the meaning of symmetrical or attractive really is so your old fashioned looks just seem old. Look in the rear view mirror and stare at the creases in your face. Your smile lines (Alice smiles big in order to deepen lines) Notice your teeth. They are yellow and crooked. Look in the visor mirror at the blonde hair above your lip. (Alice feels the hair on her lip with her tongue)
It wasn’t an illusion. It is prickly. Not as soft as it looks.
Realize someone might be watching you. Adjust all of these mirrors and see important things. (Alice does this)
Don’t hit animals. Don’t hit people. Don't Fall asleep. Sing songs. Drive away from things and towards others. Look at signs.
Look for signs.
Put your arm out the window and let it sink and rise with rhythm. The rhythm gravity wrote for you.
Okay. Yes. I am avoiding turning on the car.
Alice pushes stop on the recorder and turns on the car.
A projection of a moving road starts playing behind Alice and the car.
Ingrid Bergman. I don’t wanna hear any lip from you okay? This is going to be fun! You’ve never been out of the house, and I think you’ll like the road. A wise woman once said
(in her best Katharine Hepburn impersonation)
“If you obey all the rules you’ll miss all the fun”
Peck: Meow Meow Meowwwww Meow. (In the tune of Moon River).
You’ve got the wrong Hepburn, Peck. And don’t be such a fudging fillibuster alright?
Okay well. Did anyone ask you?
That’s what I thought.
Okay. (Alice takes a deep breath) So here we are. On the road. The three of us. I can’t believe we even left the driveway. A little place I like to call home. But not anymore my friends. Today we are explorers. Travelers into the great unknown with a mission to/
Yes. Yes Ingrid. Exactly! With a mission to solve the mystery of the accused while attempting to recover their memory! Wait..nono. Do NOT put words in my mouth ya ol’ bag! HA! To solve the mystery of love my little kitty friends. The Mystery of Love.
Peck and Ingrid: (cacophony of cat meows)
(sigh) You two just don’t really know when to shut your moose do you?!
Seriously? I didn’t even/
Ingrid: Meow meow.
Ingrid I love you.
So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me.
Of course they do.
I don’t want to put you in a cage. I want to love you.
No it’s not.
Alice reaches back and opens Ingrid’s Kennel.
Alice gives Gregory an admonishing look before she opens his kennel as well.
Well...I guess it isn’t a road trip without some tunage.
Alice uses her knees to steer as she reaches under the passenger seat of her car and pulls out a small light brown leather case. She unbuckles it, and it contains about 20 cassette tapes. She carefully selects a tape and inserts it.
Okay kitty meow meow’s are you ready to roll? Let’s set the mood and hit the road.
Alice pushes play and Gary Numan - Cars begins to play. The music video is projected behind Alice. She sings. The cats meow to the beat.
Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It's the only way to live
Here in my car
I can only receive
I can listen to you
It keeps me stable for days
The song and video suddenly stop at :57 and an old entry of Alice starts playing. It sounds like she’s hiding somewhere and doesn’t want to get caught recording.
Alice here. It is my 35th birthday today. Grandma Lou has come through again. Yep you guessed it - chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles. I knew. I just knew when I blew out my candles last year and made that wish it would come true. Wish for chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles for your birthday every year get chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles for your birthday every year. No brainer. Wishes do come/true.
(Grandma Lou in the background) /Come on sweetie time to blow out your candles.
(whispers) Uh gotta/
The music and music video pick up at 2:11 - Nobody is rocking out anymore. It is unusually achy and full of tension in the car.
Alice presses stop on the recorder at 2:21 of the music video
Who in the helicopter was messing with my tapes?!